Conquering the Holidays: Part IV (Return of the Co-Workers)

Okay kids, we've seen the worst, and it's all downhill from here on out. The fine art of soda-making has long dedicated itself to sweetness and fruity flavours. How could we possibly go wrong with the sweet sauce and dessert? Yeah, I didn't know either.



Have I mentioned lately how much I love my co-worker, Miss Lead Cashier Carrie? Well, I do. She is a shining, shining star. She is for many different reasons of course, but the one I point out today is her absolute dedication to a cause, Even if that cause is the consummation of a Holiday Pack of Jones Soda. After putting her through the hell of Wild Herb Stuffing, I decided to make it up to her by bringing in the first item on the dessert menu.

STAGE FOUR: Cranberry Sauce with Orange Zest



Wow, it looks a little like Jonestown's magic Flavor-aid when you pose it like that, doesn't it? What happy coincidence! But we weren't thinking about the possibility of cyanide when we cracked open the bottle. The most we were concerned with was whether or not we'd even be able to get it far enough past our throats to do any damage.



Now, we were just about to close up shop when who should show up at the door but the Blaster to Carrie's Master, boyfriend Richard! How could we not pull him into our liquified post-apocalyptic tasty treats? Lucky him!



Things were going well. Very well. Better than we'd expected, and that's considering that we didn't think it possible for anyone to screw up cranberry juice. We couldn't stall much longer to find out if that theory was correct. It was time to go for the gusto, and enter the flavour Thunderdome.



Success? Was it possible?! Or was the soda massacre merely time-delayed? There was only one way to find out, as we gulped it down and breathed. What did the others have to say?



And as for me?



Well, I liked it! I liked it! I'd even go so far as to say I LIKED it! (Hey now, love is a strong word when it comes to caffeine-free non-cola soda.) I liked it so much that I sealed it back up, took it home, made myself a sandwich, and finished the whole damn bottle. A week ago it seemed impossible, but believe it or not we found a soda in the bunch that has made the whole ordeal worthwhile. I don't know if it's quite as good as Vanilla Cola, but if Jones sold this on its own, I'd probably buy it. Just so long as it isn't laced with any cyanide. That's a deal breaker.

Join me tomorrow, when I bring you the exciting conclusion: Dessert at the End of the Universe!